It's been a long time since I've had an "I've missed the rapture" moment. And to be clear, I wasn't completely awake when this happened, so I was really torn whether or not to post this story here or in my dream blog. I wasn't actually asleep, though, so I decided to post it here, but my mind wasn't fully functioning yet as you will see.
To set up the story, I had grounded my oldest son, Jay, from his iPad last Friday because he was behind on his schoolwork. He had won it in a contest attending some online event at a bible school, and was spending a little too much time gaming and too little time writing chemistry reports. So I took it away, grounded him from everything fun, and locked the offending iPad up in the lock box under the bed. Unfortunately, he had an alarm set for 5:30 a.m. Not just any alarm, but the most annoying song ever composed. The kind that crawls into your brain at 5:30 in the morning and won't leave for the rest of the day.
When it went off on Saturday, I had no idea what it was. I thought Erick was watching a YouTube video in the bathroom while he was shaving. It didn't sound like something he would watch, but whatever. I was trying to sleep. The next time it went off, I thought it was Erick's phone, and I stumbled around in the dark trying to find it and turn it off. Finally, it dawned on my that it was Jay's iPad.
I could have unlocked the box and had Jay turn it off, but I just keep procrastinating hoping the battery will die. Every morning I end up regretting my procrastination.
This morning when it went off, I went to the bathroom and stayed there until it was over. Then I went back to bed. Now this is where my rapture story starts.
As soon as I crawled into bed, I began to scoot over to Erick's side for some early morning cuddling, like a heat-seeking missile. Only there was no heat. I scooted over a little bit more, and touched the other side of the bed. Erick was gone. There wasn't even a warm spot on the bed.
My first thought was, "Oh no, I've missed the rapture!" My second thought was, "Great, now I'm going to have to get beheaded." I wondered if I had missed it because I wasn't really saved, or because of Jay's stupid alarm. Could I not hear the trumpet sound because Jay's alarm was so loud? Or because I had shut myself in the bathroom so I couldn't hear it?
Then I thought, "Wait a minute--if the rapture had happened, Erick's clothes would be in a nice, neat folded pile under the sheets." So I felt around under the sheets, looking for his clothes, but couldn't find any, but then I couldn't remember whether or not he had even been wearing any.
Just about that time I heard Erick cough from the living room. Of course! Erick had just gotten up when I was in the bathroom. He was just in the other room. I had nothing to worry about. I went back to sleep and slept until almost 9:00. Today, I think I'm going to move the lock box to Jay's room and hide it somewhere.
