December 20, 2010--12 days of a Walmart Christmas

A friend of mine is starting her first day of the 12 days of Christmas today. I told her that started a few days before Halloween and that she missed it. In honor of her, I decided to re-write "The 12 Days of Christmas", from the viewpoint of a cashier. Enjoy!







On the first day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"It's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the second day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"When do your sales start?"
"It's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the third day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"I'm going shopping!"
"When do your sales start?"
"It's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the fourth day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"Target has this cheaper."
"I'm going shopping!"
"When do your sales start?"
"It's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the fifth day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"NO THANKS, I DON"T WANT A CREDIT CARD!"
"Target has this cheaper."
"I'm going shopping!"
"When do your sales start?"
"And it's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the sixth day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"Can you double bag it?"
"NO CREDIT CARDS!
"Target has this cheaper."
"I'm going shopping!"
"When do your sales start?"
"And it's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the seventh day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"I need carry-out."
"Can you double bag it?"
"CREDIT CARDS WILL GET ME IN TROUBLE!"
"Target has this cheaper."
"I'm going shopping!"
"When do your sales start?"
"And it's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the eighth day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"I forgot my wallet."
"I need carry-out."
"Can you double bag it?"
"I DON"T BELIEVE IN CREDIT CARDS!"
"Target has this cheaper."
"I'm going shopping!"
"When do your sales start?"
"And it's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the ninth day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"I'll be back in a second"
"I forgot my wallet."
"I need carry-out."
"Can you double bag it?"
"MY HUSBAND WOULD KILL ME IF I GOT A CREDIT CARD!"
"Target has this cheaper."
"I'm going shopping!"
"When do your sales start?"
"And it's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the tenth day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"I need a gift receipt"
"I'll be back in a second"
"I forgot my wallet."
"I need carry-out."
"Can you double bag it?"
"STOP ASKING ME IF I'D LIKE A CREDIT CARD!"
"Target has this cheaper."
"I'm going shopping!"
"When do your sales start?"
"And it's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the eleventh day of Christmas my customer said to me,
"I need to return this."
"I need a gift receipt"
"I'll be back in a second"
"I forgot my wallet."
"I need carry-out."
"Can you double bag it?"
"Um, yeah, I guess I'll apply for a credit card. How long will it take?"
"Target has this cheaper."
"I'm going shopping!"
"When do your sales start?"
"And it's not even Thanksgiving!"

On the twelfth dayof Christmas my customer said to me,
"I can't find my receipt."
"I need to return this."
"I need a gift receipt"
"I'll be back in a second"
"I forgot my wallet."
"I need carry-out."
"Can you double bag it?"
"I APPLIED FOR A CREDIT CARD YESTERDAY AND THEY DENIED ME!
"Target has this cheaper."
"I'm going shopping!"
"When do your sales start?"
"And it's not even Thanksgiving!"