Feb 20, 2004--Moving bedrooms around

I'm way behind. I'll never catch up to Ezri. It's not my fault--it's my stupid ISP's fault! Sigh.
I can't believe it's Friday already. Time is going so fast these days. A week barely starts and it's over already.

I have accomplished a lot this week, though. I took apart a bunk bed and moved it downstairs and completely switched the kids' rooms around in preparation for the new baby. If we have a girl, she will go in with Rachel and Abby will move downstairs into the girls' new room. If we have a boy, he can move into Jay's room, which is now upstairs. Besides, Jay likes being upstairs better. He always got lonely downstairs all by himself. The girls like it downstairs, because now they can whisper and giggle at night and no one can hear them. Since we moved them Jay hasn't had any bad dreams. He used to get bad dreams a lot sleeping downstairs.

He reminds me a lot of myself when I was little. I used to get up and think that I smelled smoke and I'd go around the house looking for fires. I'd see the moon reflecting of the vanity mirror and be sure it was a fire. I'd go into my parents room very very quietly and stand by my mom's side and just wait, ever so quietly. She's finally sense someone staring at her and wake up with a jump. I'd say, "I can't sleep. Can I sleep with you?" She'd pray with me and send me back to bed.

At night things just looked scarier. I had to have the closet door shut or shapes in there would scare me. I would see strange patterns on my bedspread (Mickey Mouse) and think poisonous mushrooms were growing on my bed or maybe it was giant spiders. I'd have bad dreams about carrots chasing me. I'd think about bad guys breaking into the house and the more I thought about it, the more I was sure that I heard people prowling around trying to find a way in. I'd think about tornadoes or bad storms knocking trees onto our house, and I'd mentally calculte whether the tree across the street was tall enough to all on our house.

I can still let my imagination wander and scare myself at night, but I don't. It's taken practice to get out the habit, especially since I sleep by myself a lot when Erick is working. Why is it that bad habits are so easy to start and good habits are so hard. And that bad habits are hard to break and good habits are easily broken.